Billy's latest rant

Mr Siegheil

Dear Mr Siegheil You sound awfully familiar to me.

I love it when I can say told you so.

There is systemic corruption in our society, which I have highlighted and was castigated for it. Just after my rather ‘jocular’ attack on the proposals to allow on the spot fines we discovered they’re all at it. The pack of cards came tumbling down along with all credibility. We ‘country bumpkin pressmen’ have an instinct when something is going to blow. It’s when the cows lie sideways.

The big press, Government and police have come under fire, yet they want to be judge and jury and inflict pain on us. We can’t trust any of them. Some ‘could’ be open to temptation if they’re having a bad day or we annoy them.

My granddad was the village newsman and a very astute German policeman who was not politically correct. He would take the handlebars from the naughty kids’ bikes and the parents had to collect them. ‘Vee haf vays of making you valk’. No bad news, no arrest, no court, no criminal record in later life and no ASBOs in the Fatherland then.

I don’t think there are now because I read this ‘FRANKFURT, - A German teen is spending nine months in remote Siberia in an effort to turn him away from violence. The 16-year-old had been diagnosed as ‘pathologically aggressive’ for behaving violently.

Granddad held POWs in the cell at the back of the house. There was a war on. He made them do domestic jobs.

When chores were finished grandma would feed them a hearty meal then back to the cell on a feather duvet. Was he wrong in using Adolf’s prisoners to help? I can’t comment. He was after all the man who gave me my mother. Yes I know it’s the other way round but you know what I mean.

No one tried to escape. He trained his two German Shepherd dogs to eat the prisoners. Sorry- misprint. It should say, eat ‘with’ the prisoners.

He even taught the dogs to use cutlery and sit at the table. They were the Vorsprung Durch Technik guard dogs of the day. Today they would definitely be ‘IAMS dogs’ but to grandpa they were his ‘hot dogs’. And they were eventually. Well, there was a war on.

Granddad’s POW’ went home fatter than when they went to war. The whole village turned treated him as family. I do remember my own village cop. He was called Fred and he was a lovely man.

Everybody thought we were related because he took me home so often.

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