We could dress up as Bonnie and Clyde

I suggested in my own cack-handed way that power can corrupt and in the wrong hands some innocent people might suffer.

In retrospect I would have been better quoting words from a reputable paper. ’Nearly half of all police forces in England and Wales have officers facing charges of corruption or dishonesty, according to a survey by The Times newspaper.

Altogether 105 police officers in 19 out of 43 forces are under investigation. They include high-ranking officers such as superintendents and detective chief inspectors.’ Now, moving on. What do you get when you take a perfectly normal, often intelligent and amiable person, take out all of his morality, integrity, honesty, conscience, principles, scruples, ethics, sincerity, and any real values he had and then teach him to miscount?

A banker.

Maybe relatively old news by now but it keeps coming back. Allegedly a banker in the news recently admitted that there could have been some ‘leakage’ from taxpayer support into the ‘bonus pool’.

How does that happen? Is it like when you dive in from the top board and the power as you hit the water, forces an involuntary leak from your Speedos? I got thrown out of Victoria baths in Northwich once for piddling in the pool. The problem was I did it from the top board. Not everybody likes a show off.

The Royal Bank of Scotland is 83 per cent owned by the taxpayer, and as I understand it, is in the process of shedding 3,500 jobs. We are being told that the cost of banking will have to rise. Why?

The last bailout cost us more than the budget for defence. Maybe I’m being ridiculous but could the bank please give me an assurance that there will still be a branch in Edinburgh for the festival?

What my mate Charlie and I thought was that we could dress up as Bonnie and Clyde, which won’t look out of place in Edinburgh, and with two shotguns organise a shotgun wedding in the bank where we would once again be wed to our own money.

I know what you’re thinking. Who will be Bonnie and who will be Clyde? Here’s a clue. Charlie can walk on high heels far better than me. He has been practising ever since we first saw The Lady Boys Of Bangkok show.

He is now engaged to one and that is why we really visit Edinburgh on a regular basis. See what the demon drink can do?

And what about the police? They can’t arrest you for withdrawing your own cash can they? In fact they might want to join in and get some of their money back. OK, a gun might be over the top but Charlie can shoot faster than he can write.

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