Phantom Public Bin Filler!

Today it is time to come clean and reveal my secret identity. I intend to own up to my dastardly deeds. I am not going to confess. That is something entirely different which implies contrition and a desire for forgiveness.

I am not sorry and I do not want to be forgiven. I am the Phantom Public Bin Filler. Yes it is I.

And I’ll tell you something for nothing, the council bosses are livid. They are jumping up and down on their inflated salaries. It makes them sound as if they have a bouncy castle and it isn’t such a daft comparison when you think they live very cushioned lives thanks to you and I.

These are the same council chiefs that changed our wheelie bin and recyclable collections from once a week to once a fortnight. Did they reduce charges? Maybe I have hit a nerve and one of my targets has been outside a councillor’s house where it irks. I do hope so.

We have been well and truly irked. My targets have been those bins on the front line. I have not crept round under cover of darkness but instead have approached the drop zones in broad daylight in the vain hope I might get arrested and achieve TV and press coverage, but alas no.

How is a garbage guerrilla supposed to vent the anger of the people and gain the status of martyrdom if the enemy will not engage? They are too busy creating masses of paperwork in their bunkers. Don’t tell me they don’t all see my work. My bulging bin sculptures are sure to be noticed, as our over rewarded public enemy drive to work. I am the ‘Banksie’ of bloated bin art. I use the expression ‘public enemy’ but I should really say ‘public servants’ for that’s what they are.

They exist to serve the ‘overpay for everything’ public, not to sit behind their desks throwing scorn on the rest of us from a great height.

I have Googled this which is for illustration only so if I have made a slight error please forgive me but it makes the point. ‘Cheshire East Council chief executive Erika Wenzel is paid £189,000 each year to run Cheshire East Council (£46,000 more than the Prime Minister) – when services are being axed or outsourced. Cheshire East also pays nine other council bosses more than £75,000 per year’.

Former Weaver Vale MP Mike Hall was unhappy after a Freedom of Information response revealed chief executive Steve Robinson, of Cheshire West Council is paid £180,000, despite the job being advertised at circa £173,000.

Let’s do the maths shall we? Average salary of the two leaders is £184k. I believe band D council tax is £1,448 per year. I work out that it takes 127 families to pay a chief executive.

An entire street pays for just one wage. Then they get a handsome pension.

Let Ms Nomates manage the finances. She can get four cups out of a tea bag.

Signs have appeared on public bins asking us not to tip. I say this ‘Council, save your paper and ink because I am beginning to win the war and I refuse to stop until you leave a white flag’. (See what I did there? I used refuse as in refuse meaning rubbish. ‘Miss’ at college will be impressed.

There is talk of weekly bin collections in the future but let’s just wait and see. If it happens you can thank yours truly.

I have single handedly, fought this battle so that families everywhere get what they pay for. As Lance Corporal Jones in Dad’s Army would say ‘They don’t like it up ‘em’ do they Captain Mainwaring?

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