If you read my column last week, you may remember I was talking about the metaphorical ‘stress-bucket’, that we all have.

When it gets full, we can develop signs of stress, this is known as our stress signature. While everyone experiences stress differently, some common stress signatures include:

• Physical Symptoms: Headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, digestive issues, and changes in appetite or sleep patterns.

• Emotional Symptoms: Anxiety, irritability, mood swings, difficulty concentrating, and feelings of overwhelm.

• Behavioural Symptoms: Social withdrawal, increased alcohol or substance use, unhealthy eating habits, and impulsive behaviour.

So, what can we do to help ourselves, when our bucket gets full?

When this happens, many of us can feel completely overwhelmed. All too often we can feel completely stuck in a situation, and not see a way forward. Sometimes, we just need to be able to take a step back and try to look at our situation from a different perspective.

Last week I asked you to write down a list of things in your stress-bucket. If you have your list to hand, or you want to write one out now, then here’s something you may find useful.

Ask yourself the following questions about the items in your stress-bucket.

1. What needs my urgent attention? – When we are overwhelmed, things can often seem to merge into one huge problem, that we can see no way out of. It can be a good idea to prioritise which things are more urgent than others. You may find this easier when they are written down.

2. Can anyone help me? Reaching out to a friend for help is not a sign of weakness. Sometimes we don’t want to involve people we know, and it can be helpful to talk things through with an outsider. Remember there is lots of free help out there. Try taking a look at the Hub of Hope https://hubofhope.co.uk/ There are lots of support groups, counselling services and other resources you can contact.

3. What helpful coping strategies could I use? It’s good to think about things you may have done in the past to cope with difficult situations. We all have amazing resources that we can use to help ourselves, sometimes when things get too much, it is easy to lose sight of them.

4. What unhelpful coping strategies have I been using that I should think about stopping? Be honest with yourself on this one! Have you used or engaged in something that started off as a coping mechanism, but is now proving to be an issue in its own right?

Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England wellbeing@martinfurber.com

If you feel you are in a mental health crisis or emergency and may be in danger of causing harm to yourself or others then please contact your GP, go to A&E, call NHS 111 (Option2), the Samaritans on 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258