IF you don’t live in Northwich, a shanty town in Cheshire, you will not have heard the exciting news that a taxi driver has actually been allowed to keep the slogan on his taxi: ‘British by birth, English by the grace of God’. I should blooming well think so too.

Yes this country may be well on the way to ruin thanks to successive administrations but we still have the right to be proud to be the butt of the world’s jokes.

Some of my family died so that we could fly the flag and say what we want. Admittedly they were Germans but that’s beside the point.

Had my cousins won the war, we would have decent roads and clean hospitals, but no matter because we are free.

We would have had good clean restaurants with great customer service, but no matter because we are free.

We would have had state of the art technology ( Vorsprung durch Technik, but no matter we are free. We would have great sausages.

OK, so we would have a dictator but could it be any worse than the lot we have now?

We are free to laugh at our families, our neighbours, our employers, our workers and our governments and others who come to our country. We were given the right by those who died on both sides.

Yes we British have a sense of humour. Here’s a good joke. ‘Learco Chindamo was freed, 15 years after knifing a teacher to death. Mr Lawrence’s widow, Frances, said that it felt as though the British legal system had given Chindamo every help while she and her family had been ‘hung out to dry’.

Chindamo, who lived in Italy as a child, was allowed to stay in Britain after arguing that to deport him would infringe his – here is the punchline – human rights’.

Yes he has human rights yet is a foreigner who murdered one of our own. Are you laughing?

Time and again we read how foreigners can do and say what they want because they have human rights.

Here’s a cracker. It’s the way I tell ‘em. Abu Hamza won his appeal against the Government’s attempts to strip him of his British passport’.

If he were a true Brit he wouldn’t be allowed to incite hatred. The radical cleric argued that such a move would render him ‘stateless’ as he had already been stripped of his Egyptian citizenship.

Here comes the punchline. We paid the £3.5million legal fees. He had three barristers. I can see that creases you up. How many of our own are being stripped of their benefits to save money?

We can’t tell Irish jokes because it is offensive to the Irish (not those I’ve met) but I’m going to tell one now.

There was an English Prime Minister and Irish Prime Minister.

For years there had been fighting, which they all had a hand in one way or another, and has cost all of us a fortune.

We shot at the Irish and the Irish shot at the English.

Now the English Prime Minister, with the money he has taken from the desperate because Britain is broke, has offered to lend the Irish billions of pounds.

Get off the floor, it’s not that funny. George Osborne defended the action, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’. Aren’t we his friends? We do pay his wages after all.

John Woodward of JJ’s taxis is a very naughty man. You know it is not PC to incite any feelings of pride in our nation.

And I’ll tell you another thing, the name of your cab will be offensive to some in the north. Hackney. Isn’t it down south? Get it changed immediately to a Cheshire CAB.

The trouble is you could be confused with the Cheshire Citizens Advice Bureau and always being stopped for a chat and counselling. Isn’t that what cab drivers do anyway?